Katten är i mit sovrum, och han är på min säng!
One of these cats is completely disobedient. If it were just daft and did not know what it was supposed to do that would be one thing, but it knows what it ought not do and still does it. I am charging my computer on my bed so I have the door to my room closed so the cat does not go in there and crawl on the computer or scratch the screen or something. Meanwhile, I am studying in the living room (vardagsrummet...among todays lessons is the names of rooms in an apartment, eller "en lägenhet" på svenska). Every two minutes the cat opens the door (dörren) to my bedroom and I have to go get it. So you have me throwing my books and yelling at a semi-conscious animal in a language I cannot speak. The cat goes under the bed and I cannot get it to come out (Kom här nu!).
Last night I was supposed to put them in the laundry room for bed and this same cat climbed up on a chair pushed under the kitchen table (på en stol under bordet) and it would not come out...everytime I pulled a chair out it moved to another chair. To get to the chairs closest to the window (stolen var bredvid fönsteret) I had to push in the outside chairs...when I did this and then pulled out the inside chairs the cat jumped to the recently pushed-in outside chairs!! I did not know what to do...millennia of intellectual development, the gift of techne and the much vaunted "reason" and I was effectively out-witted by a domestic cat. The situation was getting primitive, my Swedish commands were mixing with English...I had just watched "Donnie Brasco" and learned a few new choice phrases in Swedish that I let fly in the heat of the moment (I am going to start watching "Donnie Brasco" every night so I speak Swedish like a wiseguy...glöm om det!---"forgettaboutit!"). In an instant I had lost all the evolutionary advances of my species and I was prepared to resort to brute strength to demonstrate my superiority...
I decided that I needed to step out on the balcony for a second and take a deep breath. Three years of legal education, five plus years of formal philosophy education and the books had nothing to offer me now. Then I heard the shuffle of the rocks held within a cat poop-box! Could it be that nature had thwarted itself! I ran to the laundry room to find the devious feline engaged in relieving itself and I slammed the door shut with a smile...I have said before that I would never have kids...I swear that I will never have kids!!
One of these cats is completely disobedient. If it were just daft and did not know what it was supposed to do that would be one thing, but it knows what it ought not do and still does it. I am charging my computer on my bed so I have the door to my room closed so the cat does not go in there and crawl on the computer or scratch the screen or something. Meanwhile, I am studying in the living room (vardagsrummet...among todays lessons is the names of rooms in an apartment, eller "en lägenhet" på svenska). Every two minutes the cat opens the door (dörren) to my bedroom and I have to go get it. So you have me throwing my books and yelling at a semi-conscious animal in a language I cannot speak. The cat goes under the bed and I cannot get it to come out (Kom här nu!).
Last night I was supposed to put them in the laundry room for bed and this same cat climbed up on a chair pushed under the kitchen table (på en stol under bordet) and it would not come out...everytime I pulled a chair out it moved to another chair. To get to the chairs closest to the window (stolen var bredvid fönsteret) I had to push in the outside chairs...when I did this and then pulled out the inside chairs the cat jumped to the recently pushed-in outside chairs!! I did not know what to do...millennia of intellectual development, the gift of techne and the much vaunted "reason" and I was effectively out-witted by a domestic cat. The situation was getting primitive, my Swedish commands were mixing with English...I had just watched "Donnie Brasco" and learned a few new choice phrases in Swedish that I let fly in the heat of the moment (I am going to start watching "Donnie Brasco" every night so I speak Swedish like a wiseguy...glöm om det!---"forgettaboutit!"). In an instant I had lost all the evolutionary advances of my species and I was prepared to resort to brute strength to demonstrate my superiority...
I decided that I needed to step out on the balcony for a second and take a deep breath. Three years of legal education, five plus years of formal philosophy education and the books had nothing to offer me now. Then I heard the shuffle of the rocks held within a cat poop-box! Could it be that nature had thwarted itself! I ran to the laundry room to find the devious feline engaged in relieving itself and I slammed the door shut with a smile...I have said before that I would never have kids...I swear that I will never have kids!!
posted by Lenin | 10:07 fm
1 Comments:
or, you can just whack the s.o.b.
Tony S.
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